


Showing Skin

by Lord_Morzahn



Series: Fictober 2020 [18]
Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fallen Hero: Retribution Spoilers, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Morzahn/pseuds/Lord_Morzahn
Summary: Sidestep's actions finally come up with some consequences. Keeping secrets is getting impossible lately. Set during Fallen Hero: Retribution. (Fictober 2020, Prompt 30)
Relationships: Julia Ortega/Sidestep
Series: Fictober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081712
Kudos: 14





	Showing Skin

"Just say it." You snap, voice brittle and sharp. You can feel all your muscles taught in anger and shame. Your hands close into fists, one caught up in your discarded shirt, the other's nails biting into your palm.

"Re-gene." Ortega says, and you can't bear to look at her when she does. You feel suspended in time, an eternal purgatory of the moment before what you've always dreaded finally becomes reality.

She's going to hate you. Hate you in the most visceral sense, a dripping, corrosive poison that will destroy everything you had.

It makes you bitter. You can't bear to look at your skin right now. Knowing it was the barrier that kept you from her, all these years, and now, it is the very thing that takes her away.

You're shaking. Shaking with rage and terror and anguish. You want this moment to be over. You want to disappear, never seeing her again, knowing you were right all along.

She could never love you for what you are. She wasn't any different than anyone else.

"How?" Is the word that breaks the silence. You're almost too caught up in your downward spiral to hear it. You blink, taking a glance at her. She sits on the couch, hunched over, elbows on knees, her hands over her mouth. Eyes wide, roaming the expanse of orange staining your skin.

"I was born like this. Made like this." You answer, because it pulls you out of your head, talking about it. Some of the panic recedes. Things went ok with Mortum. With Argent. Maybe there's hope here too.

"So, this whole time, you've been...?" She nods at your bare chest. She looks a little pale. A little sick. And it brings your negative thoughts right back. She's disgusted with you.

"Yes." The word escapes bitterly, pointedly.

_I...I almost had it fixed._

Just a few more days. That's all you had needed. A few more days, some time with the machine, and you would have been human. Human without her ever knowing otherwise.

But she had to push it. It was this or lose her, and now it's going to be this AND lose her.

You get the short end of the stick often in your life, it seems.

"It all makes sense." Ortage sags back against the couch, the shock overtaking her face.

Ok, not quite what you expected. You really thought she was going to go with the "how do I know you're telling the truth" line.

"You never showed your skin. You avoided questions like running parkour. Never let anyone close...." She's smarter than you have her credit for. The thought is shocking. You're never one to underestimate your opponents. If you can still call her that. But you did. You got sloppy and complacent, it looks like.

"And you never told me." She looks at you, and you can see her heart breaking right in front of you. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I?!" You explode, all the self-loathing coming to a head. "I can barely stand to look at myself! I had to keep a low profile or I'd be taken away, distance was safety!"

"I would have helped you!" She shouts back, and it shatters something in you.

"I...I didn't think you would." The admission feels too much like guilt. Shame.

Tears are clouding her brown eyes. "Have you ever trusted me?"

Oh fuck.

"...I saw the way you looked at re-genes. Heard the way you talked about them." You mutter, staring at your feet. "I grew to trust you over time, but...I can't read your mind. I didn't know if I'd be safe. You work for the government, you could've had me taken away. I would never have been able to wipe your mind of it if things went badly."

"Is that what you're still afraid of?" She looks at you in shock, tears falling down. "That I'd turn you in?"

You nod. "I can't go back there, Julia. I'll die first." You look up and meet her eyes with steel defiance. You mean it. With every fibre of your being. You. Will. Not. Go. Back.

Silence comes back- one heartbeat, two.

"I...I'm so sorry."

If you were expecting anything from tonight, Ortega crying and apologizing was at the bottom of the list. "I didn't make you feel safe enough to tell me." She blubbers, tears taking hold. Fuck.

You move to comfort her before you even think about it, hands on shoulders and voice gentle. "Hey...."

"I'm sorry." She says, looking up at you, and you feel your heart clench in your chest. All the fight goes out of you. All the despair. For this one moment...you think maybe, maybe everything is going to be ok.

"I'm sorry too."


End file.
